Clergy Clatter

According to NPR, there are three fruit that are native to America; Blueberries, Cranberries, and a third that is unfamiliar to me. I love both Blueberries and Cranberries.

Chicken and Turkey just have to be served with Cranberries. So – a few days before Thanksgiving I stopped by Boston Market drive through and ordered a whole rotisserie chicken. And I ordered an extra side of Cranberry. I was informed that if you buy a whole chicken, you don’t get any sides, including Cranberry. Now, isn’t that stupid? But Cranberry sauce is everywhere, and there’s a grocery store just up the street. And I needed a few other things, so up the street I drove to the grocery. I found the canned fruit section, but there was no Cranberry sauce, jellied or whole berry. This can’t be right. I found an exhausted stock clerk and asked if I was in the wrong section. “Oh no honey. We’ve been out of that for a long time.” Out of Cranberry sauce – one of America’s three native fruits – days before Thanksgiving? And how am I supposed to eat that chicken in the back seat of my car without Cranberry sauce? This is not American. 

It was getting late, and if that bird was going to be dinner instead of breakfast, I needed to get home and eat it, AND there just might be some Cranberry sauce in the refrigerator from last Thanksgiving, or in the back of a cupboard from years ago. 

Home I drove, with one thing on my mind. Where in my house is there Cranberry sauce? The search began, as that chicken on the counter glowered at me, with a sense of retribution. 

There was no Cranberry sauce in the house. So the cats, the dog, and I sat down for a midnight meal of dry, tasteless, chicken. I tried apple sauce, diced pears, but finally faced the fact that I only eat chicken for the Cranberry sauce. It’s why God gave Americans Cranberries. It’s the American way. 

Well, all was not lost. Thanksgiving Day Jim and Kevin delivered to my house a beautiful Thanksgiving Dinner, with all the trimmings. I put a picture of it on Facebook. And right in the middle of the spectacular feast was a heaping portion of Cranberry sauce, not stuck over in the corner, but right there in the middle. Thanksgiving was saved. Everything on the plate was delicious, but especially the turkey, slathered with Cranberry sauce, as it should have been. All was as it should be. Thank you Jim and Kevin. I will always remember.

Richard +

December 1, 2021

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A compilation of The Rev. Richard O. Bridgford’s most memorable articles from his nearly 25 years at Church of the Epiphany. Enjoy history, humor, nature, travel, and wacky experiences with Fr. Bridgford, his two-legged and four-legged friends! Recall:

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