Clergy Clatter

It’s not a good omen when a priest is heading into church to hold a service, and he hears a horrendous crash, braking glass, and a lot of voices yelling. Somehow, the priest knows that this is going to be a special day in his life and ministry.

What in the world is going on? Someone came running up to me and told me that the refrigerator door have fallen on Carol Fernandez. “Where is she?” I asked. “Under the door” was the response. A particular scene from the Wizard of Oz flashed through my mind. Well – it turns out that Carol was in the process of preparing refreshments for after the service. She opened the refrigerator door, and it fell off its hinges and onto her. Now this could only happen on YouTube, or an old sitcom. There was a lot of stuff in those door racks, most importantly, bottles of wine. The wine survived, except for one bottle of white, which hit the floor, broke, and spewed glass and wine all over the floor. If you have ever spilled a whole bottle of wine, you know it goes everywhere. Maybe we need to shift to boxes – ick.  

As I turned around to see what was going on, it looked like the whole congregation was packed into Epiphany’s small kitchen – all hollering and jumping around at once. They got the door off Carol, got out the mops and bucket, started sorting through the door contents, etc. Wes Irby got out his Gorilla Tape and put the door back in place with a big sign “DO NOT OPEN”. Carol sustained a couple of bruises, but was not seriously injured. And I went into church to say my prayers.

As for the refrigerator, the hinges just gave out. It cannot be properly fixed. Someone in the kitchen offered $50 for it, and the bid was accepted. So there will shortly be a new refrigerator in Epiphany’s kitchen – hopefully with stronger hinges. I started the service, noting that half the congregation was in the kitchen tending a broken refrigerator and a bruised Carol. One by one, our first responders snuck into church, and life at Epiphany settled in to its normal routine. It was another wonderful Sunday Morning at wonderful Epiphany.

Richard +

October 1, 2022


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A compilation of The Rev. Richard O. Bridgford’s most memorable articles from his nearly 25 years at Church of the Epiphany. Enjoy history, humor, nature, travel, and wacky experiences with Fr. Bridgford, his two-legged and four-legged friends! Recall:

  • the New Year’s resolutions he couldn’t keep
  • the year Santa’s elf delivered Baby Jesus to the creche
  • the volcano that threatened his vacation
  • sweet elderly widows and “a little afternoon sherry”

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