Clergy Clatter

  • From the Archives of Clergy Clatter
    November 2012 The attic has long been a literary device that creates a sense of mystery, surprise, memory, fun, danger – or whatever. Show a child going into an attic and you have an instant plot for anything you want to write. For years I’ve planned to use our Yard Sale as a motivation to … [Read more…]
  • Clergy Clatter
    During our pandemic, one of my precautions has been to go to the grocery store only once a week, and try to do that on what I hope will be “off hours.” I wear my mask, wipe off the cart, and play Dodge Ball as I move down the aisles, trying to avoid getting near … [Read more…]
  • From the Archives of Clergy Clatter
    October 2001 Those of you who have been to my house know that many years ago I decided to call it quits with grass, mowing and fertilizing, and allow the site to “re-forest” itself. In my eye, the yard today is a wonderful mini-forest of trees, ground cover, paths and native marsh plants. The down … [Read more…]
  • Clergy Clatter
    “Are you ready for your return from vacation?” asked one of our beloved members, as we prepare to try regular Sunday services again. “You have got to be kidding!!” was my response. We’re now into our eighth month of recorded services, and Zoom meetings, and trying to find a different way of doing everything. We … [Read more…]
  • From the Archives of Clergy Clatter
    September 2006 I was sort of asleep and sort of awake when I first heard the news over my clock radio. Pluto might not be a planet. I was suddenly fully awake. Of course, Pluto is a planet. I learned that in school. We’ve always had nine planets in our solar system. I had to … [Read more…]
  • Clergy Clatter
    I think most of you know that my car got “totaled” in a hit-and-run. Fortunately, the seat belt worked, and I was able to walk away, without injury. The repair shop and GEICO kept the car for two weeks before notifying me that they were “totaling it”, and I needed to turn in the rental … [Read more…]
  • From the Archives of Clergy Clatter
    August 2018 As most of you know, I have two dogs. Frisky is a very old Rat Terrier from the pound. He’s deaf and almost blind. Most of his life consists of moving from his bed in my den to his bed in my bedroom, with an occasional trip outside if I carry him down … [Read more…]
  • Clergy Clatter
    I’m not a person to be afraid of things. As a kid, the school bully never particularly frightened me. I came from a peaceful family, so I was never afraid to go home. If I got in trouble, I just resigned to face the music, take the consequences, and move on. Now, my mother’s fly swatter was another matter. She … [Read more…]
  • From the Archives of Clergy Clatter
    July 2012 “You’ve shrunk!” That was the most recent proclamation of good news from my doctor.  “What do you mean, ‘I’ve shrunk’? I’ve always been 6’1″.”  “Well, you’re 5’11” now. Your spine compresses with age.”  There’s that word again – age.  Now, I have to tell you – this does something dreadful to one’s self-image. … [Read more…]
  • Clergy Clatter
    I think any kid growing up is subjected to listening to tales from the past to which he or she feels no connection. For me, it was my mother’s reminder of the “Starving Armenians” any time there was a complaint about her cooking, and tales of the 1918 “Spanish Flu.” Out of nowhere, conversations would … [Read more…]
  • From the Archives of Clergy Clatter
    June 1998 It’s June. That means it’s finally summer. That means the days are long and warm, everything’s green, the kids are out of school, there’s time to get away, and we made it through another winter. Summer is my favorite time of year. For me, fall is a time to regret the end of … [Read more…]
  • Clergy Clatter
    June 1, 2020 Well. It turns out that old dogs can learn new tricks. If there is one positive thing that has come out of this dreadful virus, it is that I have tried my hand at cooking – and enjoyed it. As most of you know, I have eaten all of my meals “out.” … [Read more…]
  • From the Archives of Clergy Clatter
    May 2005 The other night I was channel-hopping on television. I came across a nature program which was showing grizzly bears catching salmon as they migrated upstream to spawn. The commentator noted that the bears have a very short “window of opportunity” to catch the salmon. If they fail to take full advantage of that … [Read more…]
  • Clergy Clatter
    May 2020 Oh – have I ever learned a thing or two during this “shelter in place.” First – I don’t ever want to retire unless I go directly into a nursing home. Secondly, I really get tired of my own company. Third, I knew I was a bad cook, but I didn’t know HOW … [Read more…]
  • From the Archives of Clergy Clatter
    April 2014 I always find it difficult to write Clergy Clatter during our observance of Lent, while looking forward to the joy of Easter in just a few weeks. Lent, for me, is a serious time of reflection and preparation. But I experience Easter as an eruption of joy and excitement. It’s hard to write … [Read more…]
  • Clergy Clatter
    April 1, 2020 When I was in seminary, one of the required classes in the core curriculum was “Homiletics” (preaching). It was held in an old chapel that they called the Oratory. It met twice a week, and at each session, two students preached on an assigned text. We then picked each other apart, unmercifully. … [Read more…]
  • From the Archives of Clergy Clatter
    March 1994 We are in the middle of Lent. Like many practices in the Church, the observance of Lent has seen its changes over the years. Originally intended as a period of preparation of candidates for Baptism, Lent evolved into a highly structured observance for the whole membership of the Church. The Anglican Church has … [Read more…]
  • Clergy Clatter
    March 2020 Sometimes one just has to bite the bullet. For years we’ve been debating the pros and cons of going to an electronic newsletter. We’d chew on it for a while in the office and at vestry. Then we’d put it away and continue what we were doing. But outside forces are pushing us … [Read more…]
  • From the Archives of Clergy Clatter
    February 2004 Dear God, I had to send Bridget to you today. I took her to the vet to see if something could be done about her arthritis. X-rays showed that she did not have arthritis but very advanced bone cancer. The vet said that she was in a lot of pain. She never let … [Read more…]
  • Clergy Clatter
    February 2020 A haunting dilemma. A group of us took a weekend in New York City before Christmas. We saw the Christmas Show at Radio City, visited Rockefeller Plaza, Times Square, Saint Mary the Virgin, Grand Central, and all of those other wonderful Midtown Manhattan “must sees.” Someone suggested that we visit the 9/11 Memorial. … [Read more…]
  • From the Archives of Clergy Clatter
    January 2000 Following are a few of my well-intended New Year’s Resolutions. I don’t promise to keep any of them, but at least you know I’m thinking about them: I’ll clean and straighten my desk to keep Merle happy. I’ll mention Jesus more in my homilies to keep Gertrude happy. I’ll start services on time … [Read more…]
  • Clergy Clatter
    January 2019 I’ve debated for the past few years whether or not to put up my Christmas Tree. When you live alone, it’s easy to set that sort of thing aside as “too much trouble.” I’m one of those strange people who assigns personalities to inanimate objects. And each year at this time, I think … [Read more…]

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A compilation of The Rev. Richard O. Bridgford’s most memorable articles from his nearly 25 years at Church of the Epiphany. Enjoy history, humor, nature, travel, and wacky experiences with Fr. Bridgford, his two-legged and four-legged friends! Recall:

  • the New Year’s resolutions he couldn’t keep
  • the year Santa’s elf delivered Baby Jesus to the creche
  • the volcano that threatened his vacation
  • sweet elderly widows and “a little afternoon sherry”

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